Allison Holkar has had to go through a lot after her husband’s death.
In December 2022, we reported The tragic passing of Stephen “tWitch” Boss.
After breaking his heart Death by suicideHis loved ones discovered the personal pain he kept to himself.
Part of that, his widow says, was exposing the addiction he hid throughout life.
Alison Holkar is speaking out (and writing a book) about her late husband’s tragic passing.
In life, Stephen was a co-executive producer of “tWitch” Boss The Ellen DeGeneres Show And long time DJ.
while talking to people In a new interviewWidow Alison Holker recalled finding a “cornucopia” of drugs hidden inside shoe boxes in her late husband’s closet.
He found mushrooms, pills and other substances that I had to look up on my phone.
“I was with a really dear friend of mine, and we were cleaning out the closet and picking out a dress for her for the funeral,” Holkar recalled. It was then that they discovered.
“It was really a triggering moment for me, because I discovered a lot of things in my closet that I didn’t know existed,” she said.
Holkar admitted: “It was very worrying for me to know that there was a lot going on that I had no clue about. [about]”
Alison Holker took time to process why her late husband hid so much
Alison Holker reflected, “It was a very scary moment in my life to find out.
“But it also helped me process that he was going through a lot and he was hiding a lot,” she reasoned. “And there should be a great shame in that.”
Holkar spent nine years of marriage with the boss. During that time, he believed they had “very honest” communication about marijuana. Her late husband would slip into the guest house to “recharge,” to which she remarked: “And that was fine.”
“He was wrestling with a lot inside himself, and he was self-medicating and trying to cope with all those emotions,” Alison Holker explained insightfully. This, he reasoned, “was because he didn’t want to put it on anyone because he loved everyone so much.”
Another discovery after her passing was journal entries that indicated she had been sexually abused as a child.
Talking about her husband’s state of mind, Holkar explained: “He didn’t want other people to take his pain.”
At first, these secrets felt like a betrayal
“Reading Stephen’s journals … really gave me a better perspective of where he was in life and the kinds of things he was struggling with,” Alison Holker explained. “It made me feel a lot of sympathy for her and sadness for all the pain she was holding.”
Many would have kept their late loved one’s secrets, from journal entries to drug addictions, rather than giving interviews and writing a book about it. (This Away: My Story of Love, Loss, and Embracing the Light (Comes out in February.)
However, Holkar shares the boss’s struggles and his family’s grief. The reason is that he hopes others can learn from it. If sharing the boss’s tragedy saves just one person going through similar struggles, it will be worth it.
